Monday Aug 3

He’s 3lb 15.5oz, almost there!

They put him on a different kind of fortifier. The original, made by Similac, has more calories. The new one, Enfamil, has more fat and MAY be easier on his stomach, lets hope so. So everyone, think fat thoughts for Kye!!!

The test they did today didn’t show as much as they wanted it to, so tomorrow they’ll do another test. It’s an xray that will take a few ‘pictures’ in quick succession to see what kind of movement the diaphragm is making. Again, it’s not causing any issues and unless it does they’ll leave it alone.

They’re going to change his oxygen tomorrow too; it’s a different kind of machine, a step toward getting off of it. It’ll be the same nose piece but, the flow of oxygen will be .5 liters instead of 2 liters.

I got to give him his bottle today!

I had to tell Kye I’m going back to work tomorrow, he took it pretty well. I’m a little stressed but, he’s good. I’ve got a great job and can make my own hours so; it’s not as bad as it could be. I miss him already though. Don’t get me wrong I want to work, I love what I do but, to leave him all alone makes my heart hurt. I’ve been thinking about this day for awhile and on one of my more emotional days I wrote this…

My mom always told me I’d never understand the love a mother has for her child until I have one…I think I get it. Anyway here it is…

Motherhood:

Feels like falling in love all over again. I can't wait to see him even if I just stepped away for a minute. When I am away from him I want to be with him so badly my body aches. My heart crumbles when he cries and I'd do anything to sooth him. I can simply stare at him for hours and be completely content. When he smiles my heart melts and I believe no other smile is as perfect. When I touch him and he calms, my heart leaps into my throat. This is second only to what I feel watching my hubby turn to putty at the sight if his son. I can't even explain how happy and full of love I feel. My eyes well up because I know these two boys are mine. They love me, I love them, and were all in this together.